


Loving You From the Shadows

by Warden_Champion_Inquisitor



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Kakashi is broken, Reader-Insert, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 10:21:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13611351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warden_Champion_Inquisitor/pseuds/Warden_Champion_Inquisitor
Summary: (Y/N) has always watched over Kakashi from the shadows. But what happens when she gets pulled into the light?





	Loving You From the Shadows

You had been there for Kakashi through it all, even when he didn’t want you to be. You would watch from the shadows, making sure that he didn’t fall too far into the darkness. You would walk with him even when he told you to leave him alone. As children, the two of you were friends. You would go everywhere together, do everything together. But then, his father died, and things changed. You spent less and less time together until Kakashi cut himself off completely. Then Obito died, then Rin. That was when you saw the real darkness enter his heart. You watched from outside his window as every morning he vigorously washed his hands over and over, trying to rinse off the invisible blood from Rin. When he went on missions, you silently followed to make sure he didn’t do anything reckless, that he didn’t rush to his own death. The Hokage himself had asked you to do this. From the shadows, you left tiny reminders for him that there were still people who cared for him. Here and there you would leave obscure things, things that you knew he loved from his childhood. Every time you would watch as he found one. He would pick it up, look at it and then toss it away, his eyes hard.

 

 

The years passed as you watched over Kakashi while he was in the ANBU until the Hokage relieved him. Your mission had ended. You had been given a team of Genin to train and had successfully completed that task. Whenever you weren’t busy, you would take your place in the shadows once again and follow Kakashi. After so many years of watching over him, you had begun to have feelings for the emotionally stunted ninja.

 

Three years passed before Kakashi finally passed a group of Genin. You were happy. This was the first time he had a connection with anyone. For the next while, you watched from the shadows as Kakashi’s demeanour changed. Eventually, you were pulled out of the shadows by Kakashi himself.

 

“(Y/N), I know you’re there.” It was raining heavily when Kakashi finally confronted you. Slowly, you walked out of the shadows. He was facing away from you as you walked towards him.

 

“How long have you known?” You asked, stopping behind him.

 

“Five years after I joined the Black Ops.” Your eyes widened as he turned, a smile in his eyes. “Thank you for watching over me (Y/N). I’ve been a terrible friend and I would like to make that up to you now.”

 

And now, the two of you had become best friends once again. Though, the feelings you had were more than just that of friendship. You knew that Kakashi wouldn’t be ready for anything more than friendship, that maybe he would never be ready for anything more than friendship. So, you stood by him as a friend for the next years that passed.

Then, the fourth great ninja war came to be. Kakashi was one of the company leaders and you were put into a sperate company. Your thoughts were plagued with the thought of losing him, but you pushed them aside and focused all of your energy on the battle.

 

Finally, you were reunited to face the person who had started the war, who had turned out to be Obito. You stood strong by Kakashi as he struggled to comprehend the situation. All of his emotions were slowly leaking out of the seal he had captured them in.

 

Then, the eternal Tsukuyomi was launched and you were caught up in its jutsu. You had woken up beside Kakashi. You looked closely to see that he didn’t have his scar. You were confused. You ran outside to see both Rin and Obito waiting. Kakashi came out of the house and wrapped his arms around you with a smile. This was not your ideal world. Your ideal world was the one you lived in, the one where you and Kakashi were best friends, not lovers, the one where Rin was gone, the one where there was hurt and pain.

 

You broke the genjutsu. You were the only one who managed to do it. You learned that Kakashi, Obito, Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto had been transported to another dimension. Waiting with the Hokage’s, you couldn’t help but have separation anxiety. This was truly the first time you had been away from Kakashi; that Kakashi was in a place where you could never be. You had always watched over him in the shadows, and now in the light.

 

The sage summoned them back. You ran to him and held him, never wanting to let go, but you did anyway. You knew not to hold on too tightly or too long, not to do anything that would show your true feelings. You would put Kakashi’s feelings above your own, no matter what. Naruto and Sasuke left to fight, leaving you, Kakashi and Sakura alone. Eventually, the three of you went after the two ninjas and found them lying in a pool of blood. But even so, they had made their peace.

 

The coming months flew by as Kakashi became the Hokage, leaving you to walk around the village alone. Even so, you were happy. Kakashi now had everyone in the village to care for him, to love him. So maybe he didn’t need you anymore. But, you would still be there in the shadows, watching over him. Slowly you walked back home, wanting to get out of the empty dark streets. You grabbed a blanket and made your way onto the roof of your building to watch the starts, something you used to do with Kakashi. You sat down and wrapped yourself up, pushing your feelings to the back of your mind.

 

“Do you mind if I join you?” You heard a familiar voice say.

 

“Oh Kaka- I mean Lord Hokage,” You stuttered, caught off guard by his presence. “Of course.”

 

“(Y/N), you don’t have to call me that. Kakashi is fine.” He said with a soft laugh.

 

“O-oh, alright.” You needed to calm down. Friends. Friends. You were just friends. Silence stretched on as you sat, staring at the stars.

 

“Obito told me something,” Kakashi said, breaking the silence. “Something about you.” You said nothing as dark clouds rolled in, covering the stars as rain started to fall. The silence dragged on for what felt like forever. You still didn’t utter a word as the rain got heavier. The two of you made no move to go inside. “He told me,” He paused again, “That you love me.” You cursed Obito silently and didn’t reply. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You should’ve stayed in the shadows, should’ve kept yourself separate from the man who sat beside you. “(Y/N), is it true?” You bit your lip hard and didn’t answer, as if not speaking would make everything go away. Your shoulders slumped, and you hung your head. “(Y/N)?” Why did it always have to be in the rain when he confronted you? It brought back the memories of when he made you come out into the light, leaving the shadows forever.

 

“No.” It was the only thing you could think of saying. You knew that Kakashi wouldn’t share your feelings, you didn’t want to get hurt and you didn’t want him to feel terrible for shooting you down. Still looking down, you noticed tears mixing in with the rain that was running down your face. Your soaking wet hair covered your face so Kakashi couldn’t see. “What an absurd idea.” You cursed your voice as it cracked. Again, you sat in silence as uncontrollable tears fell from your eyes.

 

“(Y/N), I want the truth,” Kakashi said firmly.

 

“That is the truth!” You yelled as you looked at him. He stared at you as you tried to stop crying. “I, I could never love you. Just, just leave me.” You looked down again, hoping your words would drive him off.

 

A hand rested on your shoulder. “It’s alright (Y/N). You can tell me the truth.” By now you couldn’t contain your emotions. You shot up from your seat, the sopping wet blanket falling from your shoulders.

 

“Fine!” You shouted. “You want the truth? I do love you! But I know that you don’t, or can’t love me back. And I was, I am fine with that.” You closed your eyes and continued. “For years I watched over you and was content to love you from afar, to stay in the shadows, but now, but now-” You stopped as two arms wrapped around you. Standing there unmoving, you heard Kakashi whisper.

 

“You’re right (Y/N), I can’t love you.” You stiffened at his words, your heart constricting. Kakashi let go of you and began to walk away, leaving you standing alone in the rain. He stopped at the edge of the roof. “Not yet.” He said as he jumped off the roof and disappeared into the darkness. Not yet (Y/N), Kakashi thought as he looked back at the woman standing alone in the rain, but one day.


End file.
